“I am one of them that are peaceable and faithful in Israel: thou seekest to destroy a city and a mother in Israel: why wilt thou swallow up the inheritance of the LORD?” — 2 Samuel 20:19
“For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.” — Proverbs 30:23
The wise woman of Abel described herself and her city as “peaceable and faithful in Israel.” Her influence brought protection, wisdom, and peace to an entire city. In contrast, Proverbs 30:23 warns of “an odious woman when she is married.”
The thought is not that marriage is the problem, but that when a bitter, contentious, or ungodly person is placed in a position of influence, the results can be harmful.
The principle is clear: Position does not create character — it reveals it. A faithful spirit becomes a blessing when entrusted with responsibility, while an odious spirit becomes more destructive when given authority.
Rehoboam — 1 Kings 12:13-14
When Rehoboam became king, his position exposed the pride and harshness already in his heart.
“And the king answered the people roughly… My father made your yoke heavy, and I will add to your yoke.”
Instead of bringing peace, his leadership divided the kingdom. Authority revealed character.
Diotrephes — 3 John 9
“Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them…”
Diotrephes desired prominence rather than service. When he gained influence, he used it to oppose godly men and create division among God’s people.
The wise woman of Abel used her influence to save a city. Diotrephes used his influence to trouble a church. One was peaceable and faithful; the other loved preeminence and control.
“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much.” — Luke 16:10
God looks for faithfulness before promotion. A godly heart turns influence into a blessing, but an ungodly heart turns influence into a burden for everyone around it.